myliFe*

2010-02-08T22:33:00.000+08:00

barney says:

i love you

you love me

we're best friends like friend should be

with a great big hug

and a kiss from me to you ..

*smoooch*

wont you say you love me too ??

you no longer hug me when im sad ..

you no longer dry my tears when i cry ..

you no longer hold my hands and walk with me ..

you no longer talk to me in that loving tone..

you're no longer mine ..

even when i felt sad and tortured,

i kept it to myself..

i no longer wanna be your burden ...

you no longer had the patience to hear me talk ..

you no longer say you love me ..

you no longer wants to be with me ..

we're no longer fated ..

if we're fated ..

you'll be mine ..

2010-02-02T07:59:00.000+08:00

you said the love u feel for me wont be forgotten easily ..

you said you dare not start this r/s again ..

you said we'll be friends ..

everything you said, didnt match.

so can you pls tell me, what matches what you said?

this isnt easy.

cause we cant be frank with everything anymore.

2010-02-02T05:55:00.000+08:00

if you like to break my heart,

please let me know ..

but please dont treat me well and then break it ..

because it hurts a tons more ..

and my heart has already been break into pieces by YOU .

2010-02-01T08:43:00.001+08:00

i wonder how much can i trust ur words ..

when most are just lies or words to just make me feel better ..

those lies, im tired of hearing ..

you can break my heart once and once again ..

maybe i shld never have given you another chance to hurt me ..

im the stupid one ..
im the dumb one ..
i will stop everything ..

2010-01-28T02:38:00.001+08:00

sometimes, i really wonder ...

i guess your decision of separating is right ..

because whatever u do now, would only make me feel upset ..

because i dont even think u take me into consideration when u decide on something ..

because im no longer important to you ..

when u say u didnt get another girlf because of the love u still feel for me ..

i was touched ..

but, that doesnt prove anything ..

theres no longer proof ..

theres no way you could prove what u feel ..

i hope i no longer feel anything, bcuz my heart's numb ..

Too Little Too Late

come with me

stay the night

you say the words but boy it dont feel right

what do you expect me to say (you know its just too little too late)

you take my hand

and you say you've changed

but boy you know yous begging dont fool me

because to you its just a game (you know its just too little too late)

so let me on down

cause time has make me strong

im starting to move on

im gonna say this now

your chance has come and gone

and you know

* its just too little too late

a little too wrong

and i cant wait

but you know all the right things to say (you know its just too little too late)

you say you dream of my face

but you dont like me

you just like the chase

to be real

it doesnt matter anyway (you know its just too little too late)

its just a little too late

i was young

and in love

i gave you everything but it wasnt enough

and now you wanna communicate (you know its just too little too late)

go find someone else

in letting you go, im loving myself

you got a problem

but dont come asking me for help

cause you know

*chorus

i can love with all of my heart, baby

i know i have so much to give (i have so much to give)

with a player like you, i dont have a prayer

theres no way to live

ohhh nooo

its just too little too late

*chorus

its just too little too late

oh, i cant wait

*chorus

somehow, i realised this song sang my thoughts out now ..

bcuz even if i love you, maybe its time ..

2010-01-18T22:35:00.002+08:00

thanks alot for the present .. in advance ..

appreciated :)

2010-01-17T00:00:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIM..

i really cant act to be strong..

2010-01-10T21:45:00.001+08:00

ENDED..

welcome the new me

2010-01-09T17:42:00.002+08:00

I DREAMT OF A SWEET DREAM, BUT NOW I FELT BITTER ..

2010-01-07T23:17:00.007+08:00

i miss those days when u hug me tightly like i'm your one and only .....

2010-01-03T00:02:00.000+08:00

all the past things that we've done together before ..

it all seems so past ...

whenever i see couples on the streets these days ..

they remind me of u ..

where i remembered we also used to go shopping together ..

holding hands tightly ..

hugging each other ..

and if i wore a skirt out ..

u'll stand in front me to block me ..
everything uve done, touches deep down my heart ..

i knew from the start i disliked the you when i first know u ..
i dislike it when u stay overnight with ur friends outside ..
i dislike it when u go out with girls together ..
i dislike it when u dont tell me what u feel ..
i dislike it when u smoke and dont quit ..
i dislike it when u were once so rebellious ..
i dislike it when ur heart wasnt fully mine ..
i dislike it when u show ur temper to me ..
i dislike it when u keep talking to me abt your 'her' ..
i dislike it when u treated breakup as something so light ..
but no matter what u do ..
i didnt dislike u ..
instead, i loved u more ..

i knew u changed alot throughout the years ..
i didnt say ..
but i know ..
u knew i didnt like u to go out and overnight with ur friends..
and u stopped doing that ..
u knew i didnt like u to smoke ..
and u tried to quit it ..
u knew i didnt like u to go out with girls ..
and u stopped it ..
u knew i hated u to show ur temper to me for nothing ..
and u tried to curb it ..
u knew i hated u comparing me with 'her' ..
and u didnt do that anymore ..
u knew i hated alot of things...
and u did it all for me ..
i knew it, i knew it deep inside me ...
but i just didnt voice it out...

although i shld love u for who u are ..
but sometimes, its just like being over possessive of something/someone ..
and i did ..
i was ..
and now ..
i lost u...
i loved u and i lost u ..
i tried giving myself a deadline now ..
i duno whether things can go back to the past or not ..
but i still want to dedicate this to u ..
even if u no longer have feelings for me ..
its alright ..
i will learn to be strong ..
i will learn to love ..
i will learn to not be possessive ..
and if u find that ive changed alot since this period ..
im sorry ..
but no matter what ..
trust me ..
i am still me ..
the girl whom u once loved ..

thank you for being by my side ..

on the very last day of last year ..

and on the first day of this year ..

although i had a bad start ..

i dont blame u ..

because, at least, i was happy until the last day ..

thank you for everything ..

the last time i will say,

i love you..

2009-12-16T10:29:00.001+08:00

sometimes, i doubt the point of being persistent ..

2009-12-11T10:52:00.002+08:00

working working working working working working working ........

and i wanna go hong kong next year !!! hopefully**

2009-12-09T09:07:00.000+08:00

life has nothing much recently ..

work, home, eat, sleep ......

that's all ..

well, maybe i'll post more stuffs tonight or tomorrow morning ....

got to prepare to go out soon ..... argh .. i hate going out so early .. sometimes ..... :D

2009-12-07T21:36:00.000+08:00

i dreamt of something bad, that day ..

i didnt want it to happen, and it made me didnt sleep, at all ..

even if you're not gonna be back by my side, i hoped for your safety ..

deadline is approaching ..

i dont know what is your answer ..

probably our answer is the same ..

nobody knows.......

thank you for being by my side ..

2009-11-24T21:17:00.000+08:00

everytime i close my eyes, i see him ..

everytime i tried to sleep, i thought of him ..

the only thing i want now is an answer, yet he doesnt wanna say it out ...

if he didnt hug me that last time that day ..

i would be able to leave peacefully ..

but now, bcuz of his touch, i gain hope again ..

yet he doesnt wanna tell me what i shld do with that hope ..

and now whenever i close my eyes, i think of that night ..

we were still fine ..

maybe he just wanted to give me a good memory ..

but if that is so, why cant he just give me an answer ??

he just drags and drags ..

i will let go if he wanna just be friends ..

i will hang on, if he wants us to be back ..

but now, when im stuck in between, i feel terrible ..

i cant concentrate on my studies ..

i cant do no shit ..

what i need is just an answer ..

ive cried till my eyes hurt ..

when i went to a recent wedding ..

ive thought of how it would be like if it was my own wedding ..

but when that thought comes, it hurts ..

reality hurts ..

but now, when im not afraid of the reality, he doesnt wanna let me know what he wants ..

he just left me hanging there ..

i didnt wanna guess his answer, bcuz i didnt wan him to say i didnt understand him ..

i wanted his direct answer, yet he doesnt give me ..

i aint the girl everyone knew anymore ..

i kept everything in my heart ..

i kept him in my heart ..

i wanted to let go ..

but i didnt know how ..

i need him to let me go ...

but he didnt ..

instead, bcuz of his disappearance, he hanged on to me ..

i wouldnt wanna ask anyone what i shld do alrdy ..

bcuz i know ppl ardd me has tried to wake me up ..

i was the one to ignore everything ..

and continue being dumb ..

i was the one being blindly persistent ..

but right now, i only need his answer ..

2009-11-24T01:50:00.000+08:00

hais ..

so much has happened recently ..

family ..

him ..

myself ..

everything happened that i cant even fucking concentrate on my studies ..

damn it !!

im afraid of failing again ..

im afraid of everything ..

im afraid of being alone ...

once again ...

2009-11-23T23:45:00.000+08:00

sometimes ure hot, sometimes ure cold ..

u make me dont understand ..

how shld i treat u ..

shld i treat u hot and cold, just like how u did?

can you pls tell me what i shld do?

last chance is given ..

deadline is reaching ..

what to decide?

2009-11-16T08:45:00.000+08:00

3 and a half yrs ago .. we were still in the same class having fun ..

after when we've started out ..

being together..

graduated ..

and everything that we've done together ..

i thought we were inseparable ..

but u proved me wrong ..

we are meant to be separated ..

maybe we were nv meant to be together ..

i rmbed how things were like when we first started ..

u cant get over with your HER i cant get over with my HIM ..

but yet we've both come to a stage when we both started to love each other ..

when we both started to be afraid of losing each other ..

but now, we have also come to a stage where we are going to be separated..

between us, we do not know where is the love anymore ..

sometimes i do wonder why other couples can give in to each other ..

even when they had problems, they solve it together ..

but as for u, u chose to abandon this r/s ..

maybe im not worthy of ur love ..

not worthy of ur time and attention ..

i aint worthy of everything .. maybe ..

i dun know whether will i still be in ur heart ..

i dun know and i wont know ..

the day i left u, u said this 3 yrs r/s isnt that easy to forget ..

but now i cant say much anymore ..

maybe i wont go for another r/s .. anymore ..

i still rmb the time when we first dated ..

the first day we met together as a couple ..

the first time we held our hands ..

the first time when ur lips touched mine ..

the first time when your hands wrap ard my waist ..

the first time when u gave me that ring ..

the first time when u said u love me fully ..

the first time when we watch movie ..

the first time when we skip sch and go airport ..

the first time when i see u slp ..

the first time when u saw me slp ..

the first time when we hugged together ..

the first time when we go out for date ..

the first time when u celebrated my birthday ..

the first time when i celebrated yours ..

the first time when we hang the pacifier on our phones ..

the first time when u bring me out at night ..

the first time when we went tuition together ..

the first time when we walked home together ..

the first time i went up to your grandma's hse for dinner ..

the first time we studied in the library together ..

the first time when u got angry with me and left me at the mrt station ...

the first time when u quarreled with me ..

the first time when u say sorry to me ..

the first time when we had fun at the toystore..

the first time when u ask me for patch up ..

the first time when u i bought gifts for u ..

the first time when we went to buy our second ring ..

the first time when u say things to hurt me ..

the first time when we both go into poly ..

the first time when u got your bike and fetch me ard ..

the first time when we went out for supper that late ..

the first time when we celebrated christmas ..

the first time when u give me presents for christmas ..

the first time that i got a crystal pacifier pendant from u ..

the first time u got me a make-up ..

the first time u let me put make up on u ..

the first time when u go on the casino ship with me ..

the first time when u left for hong kong and i cried a whole week..

the first time when u said u cried while thinking of me in HK ..

the first time i felt touched by your protection ..

the first time when u almost beat someone whom bullied me ..

the first time when we quarreled because of a third party ..

the first time we both hugged a pillow and cried together ..

the first time i saw u cry ..

the first time i cried in your arms, and when ure asking me why ..

the first time when we had the same person we cherished, but we had to give up ..

the first time when i bought u a shirt ..

the first time when i see u, and theres only u in my eyes ..

but however, this is the last time we bid goodbye ...

thank you for being in my life ..

thank you for being by my side ..

thank you for all the things you've done ..

thank you for all the love you've showered on me ..

thank you for loving me ..

thank you for everything .......

from this day onwards, we are separated ..

from this day on, we'll go our own ways ..

up to this day, i will bury the love and start anew ...

until the end of this day, i still love you ..

and anyway, i still have to say, THANK YOU .......

Jasline

with the last love...

2009-11-12T07:29:00.002+08:00

ppl, click on advertisement for me if possible, ok ??

thanks ya .. (:

2009-11-10T13:27:00.001+08:00

our romance had a good start but a bad ending ....

and things like this is what we couldnt have predict ..

bcuz u give up easily ..

u dont lie like other guys does ..

u dont flirt like others do ..

u dont do things to hurt me like others ..

but your words can pull me down from heaven alrdy ..

if u really do love me,

maybe we'll be fated again; or maybe not ..

~~im hurt ..~~

2009-11-09T20:06:00.001+08:00

its tiring to keep up with his pace ..

sometimes i feel like givin up ..

but i dont bear to ..

i just feel exhausted ..

2009-11-04T22:39:00.000+08:00

damn assignments, im bored to death ..

i guess i'll not slp tonight to complete my assignments ........

2009-11-02T19:04:00.000+08:00

kind of tired, when everything seems to squeeze into my tight fitting schedule ..

microeconomics tml ..

finance on thurs ..

otqm and MA on sat ..

everythign makes me cant breathe ..

especially u ..

2009-11-01T20:11:00.000+08:00

oh gosh, havent been updating my blog recently....

busy with stupid assignments ..

well, wanted to ask him that qn again ..

but however, qn avoided again ..

tired of asking so kinda thinking i shall not ask alrdy ...

***

well, haven been shopping online for very long ..

so just nice i saw some nice foundations and loose powder ..

firstly, palgantong theatrical powder..

its actually seen in sasa, ive seen it and since i saw it in a blogshop and its cheaper, so i went ahead and try ..

just got to wait and see when is the owner free to pass me the items ..

secondly, close to u (shills) ..

its some sort of foundation also but cuz no stocks now, i had to get something else ..

so in replace, im tinking of getting shills EGF 5 in 1 moouse foundation ..

looks rather nice and special ..

but hopefully it would suit me .. (:

now ive got to talk to the blogshop owner and see how things goes ...

once ive tried the products, i'll blog about it .. (:

loves ..

2009-10-28T04:41:00.001+08:00

hahaha !!!

i guess this is my 3rd post today ..

well ..
im exhausted and i need to rest for a moment ..
but there isnt much time for me to rest .. ):
finish up my assignment then ive got to go work later at 8.30 ..
then after that ive got school till 5pm ..
then assignments again ...
so i guess i can be panda !!!
cause i dont have any time to slp ... ):

2009-10-28T02:26:00.000+08:00

random post:

i knew he changed for me ...
i felt it in my heart ..
ive seen it happening ..
and i know he did it for, ME ..

thank you for ur effort ..

2009-10-28T02:25:00.001+08:00

random post:

i knew he changed for me ...
i felt it in my heart ..
ive seen it happening ..
and i know he did it for, ME ..

thank you for ur effort ..

2009-10-28T01:32:00.003+08:00

oh my gosh
i feel like vomiting now ..
ve been downing redbull just now ..
and maybe its the sara lee cake doing weird things ... ):

boohoo !!
pls let me finish up my assignment soon ..
im exhausted !!! ):

2009-10-28T01:32:00.001+08:00

2009-10-24T00:04:00.000+08:00

i hope for the day i can call you bee again ....

2009-10-22T20:57:00.000+08:00

well, back to blogger for the second post ..

busy with work these days and also school ..

busy with assignments and also myself ..

well, today i didnt forget to pamper myself, so i went to trim my hair (2inch) and also dyed my hair ..

but the hair colour wasnt wad i really wanted, so, i might dye it again !!! (:

anyway, currently im using a new product, ESSENTIAL, and i love it damn much ..

its treatment made my hair so soft, pple, if possible, go try it ..

its rather cheap... (:

but now im getting busy with my assignments again, so..

BIBI !!!

with loves from Jas ..

2009-10-15T23:31:00.000+08:00

im back alive !!!!

so i thou i would use this account again ..(:

2009-05-10T22:31:00.004+08:00

im officially changing my blog to wretch ..

cuz i find it fresh for me ..

haha ..

so ..

pls change and re-link me again ..

thank you so much !! new blog ..

http://www.wretch.cc/blog/honeyandbee

2009-05-08T22:10:00.004+08:00

i started crying ..

my heart ached ..

my tears rolled ..

i cant stop ..

within 1 second, i felt tt all my dreams and hopes perished ..

i broke down ..

i wondered and thought ..

since that day ive been thinking ..

and yet ..

i kept silent ..

i got tired ..

and exhausted ..

is this wad i want ..

i kept asking myself ..

and i couldnt get an answer ..

now when im typing with my pillow flooded with tears ..

everything seems blurry ..

yet some things is clear ..

my love for you ..

is something i cant deny ..

even when my eyes are blurry ..

i still see you clearly ..

but if one day u were to leave me ..

i will say nothing ..

i have learnt to bury my deepest thoughts in my heart ..

and i will let u go ..

bcuz, im not a good girl ..

ive realised ..

i felt tt i cant live w/o u ..

yet u can ..

mayb i had to learn to grow up ..

2009-05-07T21:43:00.001+08:00

fuck this family ..

fuck my parents ..

one lazy ..

the other one unreasonable ..

when its not my fault ..

both says its mine ..

wtf ?

2009-05-06T14:21:00.002+08:00

im now rotting in sch ..

bored and tinking of things ..

thinking whether to take my bike license without my folk's permission ..

or wad else ..

sigh ~

wad to do ..

im now hoping my mum would allow me to get my bike license ..

at least i dont have to hide thing here and there ..

hopefully luhh ...

mornin smsed amelia to ask whether next tues is she free to mit ..

hope she can bahx ...

at least i can mit her up ..

and now ...

i miss bee again ..

2009-05-04T23:02:00.002+08:00

tutored lydia today ..

at 1pm to 2.30pm ..

thou bee will be fetching me soon ..

and ended up he's still at home ..

so i told him the address and he bathed and stuffs then come ..

waited at lydia's hse downstairs seeing kids play badminton..

smoked and blah blah blah ..

then saw lydia and her boyf ..

walked over to the next block then smoked together ..

weird huh ?

tutor and student smoke together ..

LOL...

bee reached ard 3.30 ..

then we went to kovan there for beef noodles ..

after that went back to bee's hse ..

slacked awhile then i go home lerx ..

derek called bee and met up with him after bee sent me home ..

tomorrow will be a day out with bee ..

hopefully the weather will be beautiful ..

i need some going out to let me relax ..

seriously had been abit too tense recently ..

and now i cant blog alrdy ..

have to rush my report for business stats ..

sian ~~ ):

***

bee is loved ..

2009-05-02T22:45:00.002+08:00

damn assignments ..

and ive just realised that my assignment dates are packed..

now im finally going to be done with my business comm report ..

here comes my business stats report to be in by wed ..

how nice ..

will be hoping to tutpr lydia on monday ..

and then tues i can go on to missham face shop and all to look for my bb cream ..

wan nee says face shop is selling it at $33 ..

so if i got the membership card, i can enjoy a 10% i tink ..

hopefully i have it luhh ..

if not it wont be worthy ..

hmmm ..

now im having my thought abt getting my bike license ..

or to say ..

getting a sp ..

or shld i just get a kups...

which is more helpful to my fuel consumption ?

hmmm ..

and i wanna get my bb cream soon ..

my skin sucks ..

hopefully i can get it before my presentation on friday ..

and im rather headache abt what to wear for that ..

formal ..

sian ..

im hoping to meet up with the girls soon ..

and i love you .. BEE

2009-04-30T20:51:00.002+08:00

i need you ..

by my side ..

just like you're my air ..

i need to breathe you in every minute ..

just like how i love you ........

2009-04-29T21:17:00.002+08:00

say me unreasonable ..

but i got peeved off by you ..

ive gt limits to my patience and temper ..

and pls dont test my limits ..

since im not being at least respected ..

dun be hoping me to respect u either ..

2009-04-29T00:18:00.004+08:00

met jun kai ytd ..

and he was happily suan-ing me .. ):

meetup with bee today ..

and went up his house ..

ordered kfc delivery and we ended up feeling guilty ..

cuz it was raining so heavily and the poor uncle has to deliver food for this 2 hungry pigs ..

ate and ended up bee dosed off at 2.15 ..

he said he would wake up at 2.30 ..

and if he didnt, he'll owe me $200 ..

and obviously, he cant wake up !

but nvm la ..

if u give me money just like tt ..

i tink im so materialistic ..

haha ..

finally woke him ard 6 and he ended up playin games untill 7+ ..

we went out to tamp 1 at ard 8 and walked onli awhile and collected our membership card at couple lab ..

then had no choice, so we went back home ..

but b4 tt..

we were both thinking of buying samsung omnia together ..

so hopefully we'll have the same phone and bike ..

hah !

checked online earlier on and saw that singtel has a cheaper price ..

and i could apply for their student plans which has unlimited sms .. (:

woohoo !

so, i'll be tryin hard enough to ask my daddy and mummy to let me switch to singtel then ..

and im now hoping that hans and aton would be able to send me their powerpoint by tomorrow ..

if not, i'll be killing them ..

but as for now ..

nights to everyone ..

jasline is so exhausted from the lack of slp ..

i love you bee ..

2009-04-25T21:08:00.001+08:00

ok, im fucked up now ..

and to be specific ..

i, Jasline Lee, DO NOT, (take note), DO NOT need a father in my life..

2009-04-25T00:33:00.002+08:00

ok, suddenly realised ive been missing out alot in school ..

seems like everyones having fun with their new classmates, bf(s) & friends ..

and damn ..

i miss those days where me and bee train down to here and there for shoppe spree ..

but now, all we do is, vroom here and there ..

i miss those times when we train and i could doll up and wear skirt on our date ..

now in fact i had to wear pants bcuz he's riding and we have gt to worry wher to park,erp and stuffs

singapore is definitely not a very good place to park or have vehicles ..

i miss my friends ..

no matter rp, pri, sec or whatsoever friends ..

i mean all friends seriously ..

i need to mit up rp girlfriends soon on their lunch break ..

mayb i could ask melanie shes free to mit up soon in np not ..

mayb i could ask secondary friends to mit up soon ..

shaakir's gonna teach me ride ..

shaun's gonna enrol bike license with me ..

jennifer's gonna diet with me ..

ive gt to mit amelia and see how's she doing ..

sigh ~

time doesnt seemed enough for me esp when im being tied up at home ..

but, good news ..

i found one tuition alrdy ..

so im free on tuesdays ..

so i can date with bee on tues ..

but bad news, my attendance will suffer i think ..

but, its alright, so long im able to leave the house to breathe ..

***

wan nee says she finds me very nice after our recent team work ..

>> 静 . 心霓 * 霓. 心静 << 了 says : today i juz told xiao pei

>> 静 . 心霓 * 霓. 心静 << 了 says : u nice nice ..

>> 静 . 心霓 * 霓. 心静 << 了 says : when i started to be a same group vf u recently la//

[b] JASLINE & BEE (: [/b] ~ ♥♥ says: lol

[b] JASLINE & BEE (: [/b] ~ ♥♥ says : b4 tt i not nice??

>> 静 . 心霓 * 霓. 心静 << 了 says : nola..

>> 静 . 心霓 * 霓. 心静 << 了 says : i mean not that clse..

>> 静 . 心霓 * 霓. 心静 << 了 says : and we even din chat so much ma..

[b] JASLINE & BEE (: [/b] ~ ♥♥ says : oh ok

[b] JASLINE & BEE (: [/b] ~ ♥♥ says: im always good ..

>> 静 . 心霓 * 霓. 心静 << 了 says : hehe

>> 静 . 心霓 * 霓. 心静 << 了 says : yupz yupz

>> 静 . 心霓 * 霓. 心静 << 了 says : dote dote

and now i sounded like some xiao mei mei ..

being doted ..

haha ..

wan nee, im always very good .. you realised it too late ..

haha ..

ok, ive been with abit of moodswings recently ..

it just changes itself like nobody's business..

and i couldnt do anythin to help it ..

so, if i do flare up, pls dun mind ..

***

ok, today went to teach my first secondary sch student ..

abit lian ..

rebellious ..

but somehow i understood ..

she stays in a 2 floors hdb flat in hougang ..

and ok, first impression wasnt good ..

she reached home, quarrelled with the mother ..

then sat down look at me ..

supposedly i look abit lian, she wasnt fierce to me either ..

we talk and slowly ..

know tt she knows my primary sch fren .. -.-

nvm abt it ..

but after seeing wad is in her text book, i felt utterly useless ..

i forgotten my sec 3 maths !!!

shes having her exams on :

* plan and elevation

* simultanious equations

* trigonometry

* mensuration

and to be frank, 3 out of 4 is something i seriously forgotten ..

im tryin hard to grab my knowledge and memories back ..

and hopefully i could ..

the mum was rather nice to me ..

sigh ~

***

** and darren says he need some riding khakis, he's riding his stupid ducati 1098 .. -.-

****

and i miss bee alot ..

will be mitin him in another 9 hours i think ..

2009-04-19T22:35:00.003+08:00

all of a sudden ..

i feel like hugging u and cry in your arms ..

with your hand wiping away my tears,

telling me everything's gonna be alright ..

and you'll stay by my side, no matter what ..

you'll hug me tighter when i snuggle up closer ..

you'll kiss my forehead and say im silly ..

and you'll kiss my lips and say you love me ..

you said you'll love me forever,

and never let me shed a tear anymore ..

and i'll only smile till my wrinkles grow more ..

we'll grow old together till our hairs grow white ..

our skins go crumpled and our teeths are gone ..

we'll hold our hands and walk through the journey ..

with you and me, we could walk the park slowly ..

i've got you and you've got me ..

we'll see our child doing the same things ..

they'll start their family and have their kids..

and soon enough they will be like us ..

generations after generations ..

they'll do the same thing, just like us ..

we'll think of the past of wad we've gone thru ..

and we'll think of the stupid tiffs we had ..

we'll think of the happy moments ..

and we'll think of how we walk down the aisle ..

we said i do and kissed each other ..

thats a promise of loving each other ..

we'll rmb how we met each other ..

and fell for each other ..

everything we've gone thru will be in our mind ..

forever thru the rest of our lives ..

by the end, we'll close our eyes ..

say the last 'i love you' to each other in our lives ..

and begin hoping to meet again in our next life ..

and hope we'll start everything one more time .............

***

and this is truly wad i felt and hoped ..

2009-04-19T12:47:00.001+08:00

ok, this is the duno wad tym that ive vomited in this week ..

i wonder wad is wrong with me ..

hopefully ..

its not ..

2009-04-19T11:06:00.000+08:00

i suddenly realise ..

i duno u anymore ..

and it broke my heart ..

2009-04-18T22:56:00.001+08:00

i miss him so badly and hoping to hug and snuggle up to him now ..

which is totally impossible ..

sigh ~

im hopin tt ure by my side now ..

2009-04-15T15:45:00.001+08:00

sigh .. felt bad about some things .. ):

had those weird funny feelings ..

and i duno wad to say ..

although i noe he has never lie to me now ..

just tt ..

sometimes ..

i want him to be here ..

but its rather impossible ..

2009-04-15T11:50:00.002+08:00

ok, abit piss alrdy ..

suppopsedly shld be meeting my classmates for discussions at 11am ..

and its now 11.50 yet no one is here yet ..

test me ?

my patience is limited ..

i understand its raining ..

15 mins is alright ..

but hello ?

its alrdy 50mins ...

zzz ..

i tink its alrdy far too long ..

mayb they went for lunch and stuffs and blahblahblah ..

but im abit irritated here ..

well ..

although im playing my games here ..

but im still dong my work ...

duh ! ):

2009-04-15T01:25:00.001+08:00

ok, bee made me worry .. on purpose .. -.-

and now i bloody hell nid to tink of how to slp lerx .. ):

im so awake now ..

but however ..

i still love him ..

heh !

2009-04-15T00:41:00.001+08:00

bee bee bee bee bee bee bee bee

oh dear, ive made bee angry .. ):

2009-04-14T11:15:00.002+08:00

i hate it when someone tells me something yet he couldnt do it ..

a week ago ive alrdy told bee i wanted to watch fast and furious 4 ..

he agreed ..

yet now he couldnt bloody wake up ..

how peeved can i be ?

throwing tantrums aint getting me anywhere ..

and damn ..

now i cant watch my movie alrdy ..

and fuck it bcuz i do not have anymore time to come out watching movie with him ..

well, well, well ..

so good that im so exhausted today while rushing my assignments last nite ..

and yet he couldnt even wake up for a movie with me ..

damn it !

2009-04-11T23:56:00.001+08:00

get bike license ..
is it one of my resolution ??
sp .. does it suit me ?? sigh ~
headache ..
nid to do my assignments alrdy ..
sian ..
next tues watching fast and furious & sniper with bee ..
and if gt time mayb go shaakir hse try kr de feeling ..
bee and shaakir teaching me bike ..
woohoo !!
and i love bee ..
and miss bee alot alot alot alot ....

2009-04-06T22:54:00.003+08:00

i miss you ...
i wanna hug u to slp .. ):
sch tml ..
no more movie time .. ):
junkai says he owe me movie treat .. (:
hurray !
free movies ..

jk : wanted to treat u to movie though, cause i promise u before
me: oooh
me: rmb my movie on hold ah !
is that meant to be my bday present ??
jk : haha yah, will reserve for u de
me: haha .. okok

funny jk ..
he's one of e seniors in rp tat gt good points yet go to rp ..
and bloody hell, he gt 9 points for o levels ..
and ended up in rp ..
dumb ..
everytym i see him i used to beat him ..
yet he's treating me for movies ..
weirdo ..
but has to see when i can squeeze him into my tight schedule ..
esp when i cant even mit up with my bee .. ):
i miss you badly and wondering how long many more days to miting u .. ):

2009-04-06T20:42:00.003+08:00

well ..
watched shinjuku incident today ..
mornin went over bee dere slacked awhile den go out to tm catch e movie ..
rather nice storyline ..
but fucking disgusted ..
with stupid cutting off hands and blood splashing ard ..
no wonder its a nc16 movie ..
but ending abit disappointing ..
jackie chan died as well as all e other mafias ..
and worse, when we were buying e tickets ..
e person still asked for our ic ..
do we not look lyk fucking 16and above ??
bee shows his driving license while i showed my ic ..
and she still can check mine throughly ..
wtf ..
i could even buy cigarettes w/o being checked yet i cant get through a nc 16 movie ..
nvm ..
will be miting bee next week to catch e fast and furious 4 ..
and im starting to miss him again ..

2009-04-04T10:17:00.001+08:00

im irritated by my nose now alrdy ..
peeved of with sniffing .. ):
monday buzzy bee laogong says bringing me to e doctors ..
den after tt to e movies ..
so i can watch my shinjuku incident lerx ..
hooray !
buzzy bee kept his promise last nite .. (:
i love you ..
bee ..

2009-04-03T08:59:00.000+08:00

throat infection ..
fever ..
blocked nose ..
i tink i nid to see a doctor soon ..):

2009-04-01T19:20:00.002+08:00

happy 3 yrs anniversary !!
to us !
he nv slp last nite ..
morning he came over and we went jurong point for mac breakfast ..
walked abit then head off to sch ..
he slept in my class ..
and i tink my lecturer gt peeved with him ..
we head off during break time at 3pm ..
went down to plaza sing ..
and talked things thru ..
and tink that we ought to buy wad we always buy ..
e ring ..
and we bought .. (:
hope we could change for each other and stay together always ..
and i promise i'll love you forever ..

with love,
Jasline

2009-04-01T08:41:00.000+08:00

today's e special day ..
3 yrs ..
supposed to be anniversary ..
but im not quite sure abt it ..
but anyway ..
we're going out .. (:

2009-03-31T18:05:00.001+08:00

ppl, sch starts tml ..
shit rite ?
on april fool's day ..
wtf ..
im rather bored by it ..
i wanna go out ..
yet i cant ..
worse ..
blog tml or something ..
nid to help huiru do something also ..
sigh ~

* i miss him badly ..

2009-03-30T20:05:00.000+08:00

雨过天晴了 ..

*hope we can go out on wed successfully .. (:

2009-03-30T08:01:00.000+08:00

i want him back by my side .. ):

* i love him and miss him so badly ..

2009-03-29T08:05:00.004+08:00

i want him to calm down and tink ..
then talk ..
while i duno whether can he do it or not ...

***

im so exhausted today ..
i havent been slpin last nite ..
yet ..
my father ask me to go his stall work ..
FUCK !!

* and ive gt a terrible sore throat liao .. ):

2009-03-28T10:50:00.004+08:00

first to post pictures of mummy's birthday ..

i bought her a blue rose and a cake ..
cake from Jurong point-icing room..

nice eh ?
mummy's birthday i treated her to lunch at billy bombers ..
and cost me a bomb ..
2 of us eat $60 ..
wtf ..
after tt went home and rest ..

***

had an unhappy day last nite ..
morning to afternoon was fine ..
but nite was terrible ..
gosh !
and ended up i didnt slp ..
ok, panda eyes are coming out alrdy and ..
damn it !
its obvious ..
sorry ppl, i noe some of u saw me and got quite a shocked on wad happened to me..
i looked lyk a ghost i noe ..
sry uh !
sigh ..
wads this abt ...?
i also duno ..
*just slightly confused abt wad am i supposed to do ..
**and wad am i holding on ..?
but i noe ..
in my heart,
there's still u ..

2009-03-26T10:32:00.001+08:00

sometimes i realise ..
im nt somebody anymore ..

* im nt tt special someone anymore .. ):

2009-03-25T20:30:00.002+08:00

POSITIVE ..
thats wad his answer was ..
but he didnt wanna give me any false hope ..
so i also duno wad else shld i be tinkin ..
hopefully ..
we could talk things thru ..

***

mummy says we might be moving over to grandma's house ..
ok, im terribly fucked up ..
cuz my opinion is not being heard ..
i didnt lyk it tt way ..
sigh ~
someone pls hear me whine pls !! ):

**

today went to 'visit' my 2 ah gongs and my aunt ..
which is e graveyard ..
went 2 places ..
mandai and senja ..
its far ..
but when i saw my ah gongs and aunt .
i rmb how they treated me and wanted to cry ..
damn !
but i cant ..
when im not e most closest ...
as in my folks are more close to them of cuz ..
even crying has to be hidden ..
Wtf !

*

and now, i bloody miss him ..
i didnt know wad he do today and stuff ..
im starting to doubt myself ..
nt him ..
god, pls gif me hope ..
and hope pls give this r/s another chance ..
we're approaching our 3 yrs anniversary alrdy ..
hope we'll be able to go out tat day ..
HOPEFULLY !!

* onli he can grant this wish ..

2009-03-23T21:17:00.001+08:00

i love him ..
i miss him so badly ..

*esp for the hug he gave me this morning .. ):

2009-03-23T16:02:00.002+08:00

i appreciated his love for me ..
and i love him ..
i was so happy when yati told me she felt that he love me alot ..
everybody says so of course ..
but ..
why cant u show me ur love ?
can i have u back by my side again ??? ):

2009-03-23T14:22:00.002+08:00

i wished im a baby right now ..
i wanna be a baby ..
cuz then i wouldnt have so much troubles and problems in my heart ..
im on e verge of a breakdown soon ..
having to find job ..
having to worry abt problems between u and me ..
im so exhausted ..
u could get mad and change ur face within a second ..
yet for me ?
i couldnt do anything ..
i need not know ur answer from u ..
if tat special day we are able to go out ..
mayb i shld laugh out happily alrdy ..
but however ..
i just hope if we could go out that day ..
it'll be best ..
it'll be very good ..
and mayb i shld be pleased and contented alrdy ..
hope so ...
im exhausted ..
and i tink i shld need a rest ...
now ..
sleep ~

2009-03-20T17:23:00.003+08:00

ok, god bless-ed me alrdy ..
not wasting my efforts on studying ..
ive gt my results lerx ..
Business Maths - B+
English for business - B+
Managing ppl & organization - C+
although ive gt C, and no As,
im glad i passed all subjects ..
thanks to ppl who helped me with my bloody maths .. (:
jarrell, shaun ..
and my classmates ..
xiao pei, wan nee, catrine, vickka ... etc ...
special thanks to them .. (:

2009-03-20T15:25:00.002+08:00

and now im fucking worried about my results .. ):
wish me luck ppl ..
im gonna be dead in 1 hour and 38mins .. =X

2009-03-20T09:19:00.004+08:00

well ..
mummy says im god yesterday ..
or to say ive become immortal ..
i survived on :
1 small piece of pandan cake,
1 cup of tea,
2 mouth of 'fan-choy',
1 small plate of fries &
plain water ..
yesterday ..
no dinner no lunch and stuffs ..
and weirdly ..
im not hungry at all ..
pray to me, call me god ..
if im god,
i shall grant myself good grades for my exams ..
which in 7.5hours more i will see ...
hope to pass of cuz ...
if i really can be god, i want to grant myself love also ..
but sadly,
im not ..
nevermind abt it .. -.-

* just that i miss him badly ... ):

2009-03-18T10:49:00.002+08:00

私は彼を欠場 ..
心の底では私の心に ..
〜だけれども,

私は彼を見た..
私はまだ彼には多くのミス ..
私は彼の抱擁愛 ..
私は彼の愛 ..
今私は真剣に希望 ..
彼は私となっています ..

* translation by google
and i admit its broken japanese ..
but its nt meant for others to understand ..
so its ok .. (:

2009-03-17T10:06:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wonder why our love is so fragile ..
just a small minor thing we could quarrel upside down ..
i thought that was the past ..
i thought we've grown up and matured ..
i thought we no longer quarrel due some small stupid minor things ..
yet, we still did ...
we should grow up alrdy i suppose ..
i was childish in any way to doubt u ..
but if u ever did let me noe abt certain things ..
i wouldnt ..
yet, u made me worry ..
made me feel unsecure and uncertain ..
and this are all the things that made me doubt u ..
no one would like to doubt another party esp when in e r/s ..
i rmb after that period of time when we broke up due to ur first ...
i trusted u ..
u let me feel secured and all ..
but after that ..
u've started it again ..
u made me cant trust u ..
esp after that msn incident ..
its nt tat im being particularly sensitive abt this ..
its just that u've hurt me thru it ..
mayb because we haven got to our talk yet ..
i cant simply just forget it like that ..
and it all depends on you whether u want to have this talk ..
to at least open up ourselves ..

私はまだ、愛する

2009-03-16T19:50:00.005+08:00

im deciding things in my heart and i aint going to tell anyone ..
except those deserve to know ..
he'll never know ..
unless others tell him abt it ..
but i hope he wun know anyway, since he doesnt want it to exist ..

2009-03-16T18:40:00.001+08:00

vomit ..
tummyache ..
giddyness ..
wad else ?
im nt feeling right and well now .. ):

2009-03-16T11:02:00.002+08:00

Late !
again ..
had a bad day ytd ..
morning kena called down to daddy dere ..
afternoon quarrel again ..
WTF
i need a good day pls ..
god, pls pity me can u ?
i need a good day like everybody else ..
am i supposed to grow up in such environment and situation ?

***

i seriously need a break ..
just days tt lets me feel normal ..
and now all this makes me feel tt ..
i aint normal ..

***

i can quarrel with u and stuffs ..
i can speak up my mind and all ..
i can say i dun understand u at all ..
but i have to admit ..
im in love with u ..

2009-03-14T09:39:00.003+08:00

ok, joanna said she'll kip a lookout for me ..
snoopy sister wont be online for these few days ..
ive just lost a kor ..
ok, so many things happened ..
20th march will be my death day i supposed ..
results out ..
GOSH !
if i pass,
i'll have 4 more sem to go ..
and i'll pass my diploma !
hopefully.....
well ..
and now ..
shit me ..
WORK TIME SOON ..
im gonna rot at a certain place for 9 hours ..
somebody pls help me ..
lucky i stil gt jennifer to rot with me ..
hope i can walk ard and go find u ...
haha ..
________________________________________________________

anyway, these few days, suddenly feel lyk playing:
* pool
*bowling
*badminton
and im hoping to go watch some movies too ..
shit !
can i pls get more money first ??

*****

**ps. ppl, can u pls tell me wads nice and cheap to eat at vivo city ??

2009-03-12T16:02:00.003+08:00

im learning to make my own decisions ..
im always trying to follow my heart ..
while my mind makes me feel sad ..
its all connected isnt it ?
while i felt left behind and alone ..
there wasnt anyone here ..
i needed someone ..
i seriously think me and him need a talk soon ..
its going to be a month since i cant slp ..
im doubting myself .. not him ..
sometimes i want him right here but it seems impossible ..
i didnt like the feeling of doubting someone ..
of not trusting someone, esp someone i love ..
i love him, yet now i didnt know wad he feels ..
he says he do, but he didnt say it right out ..
tat day after i said abt wei ting and that msn girl,
he started treatin me like he used to when he got mad ..
im just lost ..
saying sorry and apologising for my wrongs dont seem to help ..
its not like he can say sorry for things and i will forgive him and he'll do the same too..
mayb he does alot of thinking ..
just that neither of his thinking includes letting me know ..
i need to know something ..
i need to talk to him ..
i need to have my questions answered ..
i need him to answer ..
but ..
i love him ..

2009-03-05T20:29:00.004+08:00

firstly upload a pic of someone slping ...

he didnt slp last nite and met me up this morning ..
just to accompany me go to sch ..
and he waited for me to finish my exams ..
and i appreciated and was happy with that ..
finished my EB and met up with mummy ..
went JP eat and shop ..
then returned home with my fav mango cake from four leaves ..
he was supposed to coach me with my maths ..
but i didnt wanna trouble him ..
summore its my birthday today ..
so i didnt wan to study bahx ..
i wanted to hug him tightly today ..
but there wasnt any chance for me to do so ..
we saw a shop in JP that allows us to design our own cake ..
and it looks pretty good ..
will be visiting amelia soon when she feels better i think ..
and now ..
i felt blessed and tempted to hug him tightly ..
oh ....
birthday wishes from alot of ppl ..
and im feeling more blessed ..
but i hoped to hear him say happy birthday to me in my face ..
hmmm .. ):
but anyway, thank you for spending your day with me ...

2009-03-04T19:06:00.001+08:00

suddenly realised ..
im hoping so much for him to be with me tomorrow just for my birthday ..
i hoped for flowers ..
i hoped for presents ..
i hoped for surprises ..
i hoped for you treating me like a princess ..
and i really just hope for you to be with me ..

2009-03-01T22:04:00.002+08:00

today's supposed to be a special day ..
anniversary ..
but well ..
we're like this ...
how to ..?
he said maybe if we talk,
we could be together again ..
i asked him whether he got the wish to be back, he said yes ..
well ....
wad else to say ?
but i hope he knew im alrdy on e edge of bursting ..
while he knew im bursting soon ...
and im glad he knew ..
mayb bcuz of it, he could treat me better and cherish me more ..
however, just to admit it ..
i love him alot ..

2009-02-28T23:42:00.003+08:00

i suddenly felt very tired ..
tired of life ..
tired of everything ..
i just want to be simple ..
but yet life doesnt allow me to ..
i think i might know his answer alrdy ..
just like i knew my own answer alrdy ..
whether does it tally ..
we shall see ......
but ive got to admit it ..
im reali in love with him ...

2009-02-26T22:52:00.004+08:00

ok, let u ppl know myh schedule first ..
4th, 5th and 6th march i'll be having my exams ..
at SIM HQ, from 10am-1pm, in the grand hall ..
21st march gt sec sch class bbq ..
will find a day out with frens and primary sch fren ..(waiting for confirmation)
will be going on casino ship after my birthday and exams ..(unsure of date yet)
for now, this will be it ..
anything just sms me to know more .. (:

2009-02-26T01:23:00.004+08:00

3 more days to our anniversary lerx ..
but yet ...
sigh ~~
wad to do ??
well ..
today he said something that hurt me throughly ..
seriously and made me cry ..
argued and said something back to him and ends up ..
he said sorry to me ..
well ..
he insulted me ..
so thats e main point ..
well ..
mornin i went up his hse find him awhile..
but he slpt lyk a pig and couldnt wake up ..
so i woke him and left to mit mummy at 11am ..
daddy didnt work today so we went shopping ard today ..
went IMM and daddy bought mummy and me a watch from city chain ..
haha !
take it as an advance birthday present then ..
tink 'he' couldnt gt me a birthday present also lerx ..
he's gonna work for all the days ..
so ..
我的生日礼物泡汤了 ..
hais ...
no valentines ..
no bday ..
well ..
this time round ...
ive gt nth to say ..
he works for his bike ..
isnt it ?
duno bahx ..
quite discouraged ..
going 3 yrs r/s cant be compared to a bike ..
rather sad ..
but well ..
wad to do ...??
we're nothing now also ..
so i cant say much ..
nvm ..
just let it be then ...
i cant do anythin either ..
sigh ~

2009-02-23T21:24:00.002+08:00

met him up today in e morning ..
he asked me ytd whether to go up or not ..
and today i decided to ..
when i reach ..
just nice he woke up ..
he massaged my shoulders and back for me ..
he knew it ached ..
appreciated it and dilly-dally till its time for him to work ..
took the bus with him and acc till he reach work place ..
waited for mummy to come ..
and reached home, i asked him why today he want to mit me ..
its nt out of aympathize ..
he said he miss me ..
ok, that makes me glad ..
serious ..
but i feel abit weird of cuz ..
but hopefully ..
we'll be back to normal again ..
im abit tired of waitin alone .. ):
I LOVE YOU ..

2009-02-21T23:25:00.002+08:00

ok, im seriously pissed off with things ..
maths and stuffs make me grow mad ..
when i know i cant even study well and mayb due to laziness ..
i haven even started ..
daddy asked me to go his stall help tml ..
whereas my exams is just less than 2 weeks ..
even if its onli 3 modules ..
i cant cope ..
seriously ..
there's alot to learn ..
OMG ..
im turning crazy soon ..
damn !

2009-02-21T08:30:00.004+08:00

might be seeing him later ..

going to find the tree top walk ..

asked him abt it ytd and he wanted to go too ..

hopefully he can wake up then ..
_______________________________________________9am_______

didnt slp well last nite ..

thought abt things between me and him in the past few months ..

thinking whether shld i make a decision before all's decided ..

i was hurt by him ..

wasnt mad at all ..

but just e hurt itself could kill ..

i wonder wad i shld do ..

i wonder would i even dare get into another r/s again ..

mayb this is e good time for us to think ..

mayb its better for us to stay lyk tiz for awhile ..

to let us think things thru ..

e past 3 yrs is something nice, fun, lovely and also partially sad ..

there were lovely memories as well as sad memories ..

but i have to admit,
he became part of me ..

his life is added into mine ..

and sometimes i feel as if my world revolves ard him ..

sometimes it feels good to be loved..

but it isnt nice when i had to worry abt him so much ..

its nv nice to worry and nag at someone ..

just that whether e person deserve it or not ..

i didnt mean to be lyk ur mum to nag and stuffs..

but sometimes i didnt know wad were u doing ..

ive had worries ..
but u didnt understand why ..
sigh ..
met him up just now ..
went to e reservoir and it rained ..
we shared e same umbrella and it felt good ..
but however ..
it felt awkward ..
but i still like to be with him ..
went home and he tagged along too ..
he came up awhile den went off ..
i tried to hold him,
but he didnt want to ..
felt rejected but i hid it ..
im tired of being weak .. ):
but i couldnt be strong either ..
sigh ~
and i started to miss him again already ..
couldnt finish up dinner just now ..
didnt have the mood and appetite ..
and im exhausted ..
i thank him for spending some time with me ..
even though we know it feels weird ..
but i still appreciate it ..
and,
I LOVE HIM ..

2009-02-20T20:19:00.000+08:00

1st day of no sleeping ..

i couldnt ..
i tried to be strong but i cant ..
i told myself to slp last nite but i cant ..
i miss him deep down in my heart ..
but what to do ??
sigh ~

2009-02-19T19:37:00.003+08:00

i agreed to leave also ..

but i didnt understand why am i missing him now again ..

life w/o him ..

can i survive ?

i know i can ..

but ...

im still missing him deep down in my heart ..

i regret not hugging him longer ..

but however ...

it'll still be the same ..

_______________________________________________________________

i love you

i mss you

i miss the feeling of the rings on my fingers

i miss the feeling of the necklace on my neck

i miss the feeling when you kiss my lips

i miss the feeling when we cuddle

i miss the feeing when you hugged me tightly

i miss the feeling when you say you love me

afterall

youve stepped into my life for 3 yrs

just as ive stepped into yours too

ppl used to say its not worth

but onli i know whether is it worth or not

and i know youre worth it

and that would be it ........

2009-02-19T15:58:00.002+08:00

we're not lovers .. but hopefully we still can be friends

its at least an improvement we talked thru it ..

we've agreed to a break tym ..

or mayb a break up ..

im not sure anymore ..

my mind wasnt working ..

my world's starting to spin again ..

i nid a rest .. i very long rest ..

but i promised to be strong .. and i will do it ..

hugged him for e last time just now ..

i hinted for a hug .. and he did ..

tightly hugged ..

yet i let go first ..

i turned and walked off ..

just like drama series ..

but bcuz i didnt wan my tears on his shirt ..

however ..

my love for you ..

still continues ..

hope yours does too ..

ILY **

2009-02-19T01:07:00.002+08:00

thanks snoopy sis for talking to me ..

thanks alot alot alot !! (:

although i still dun feel right ..

but i feel a teeny weeny better .. (:

but anyway, just like ive said ..

one would onli nid once to learn their lesson ..

while im a dumber person so i need alot ..

heh !

2009-02-18T20:52:00.003+08:00

i suddenly felt myself feeling heavy hearted ..

i wished dere would be someone here for me now ..

i miss him .. and i wished he's here now ..

but it somehow seemed abit impossible ..

i hate e feeling when we quarrel ..

i hate it when im being left alone ..

i hate it when i couldnt slp and couldnt eat ..

today ive had no appetite for food ..

had sudden cravings for soya milk ..

and bought it ..

ended up onli causing me more pain ..

stomach pain ...

sister is good ..

talked to me when i needed someone ..

kind and helpful sister ..

好心会有好报的 ..

ok ?

skipped lunch and dinner ..

didnt haf appetite for anything ..

diarrhea-ed and vomited ..

dosed off on the floor ..

OMG ..

and to speak seriously, i didnt slp a wink last nite ..

and just went to sch today ..

had a slpy face ..

grandma moving hse today and until now when its 9pm ..

daddy isnt back yet ..

morning till now ..

tok kong !

and i seriously wanna hug him now to let myself be assured ..

sigh ~

i could be harsh in my words ..

but im soft within ..

im always a softie when it comes to love ..

im easily touched and emotional ..

i just hoped everything could go back to how it was in the past ...

i just hoped that nothings been in surprise for me and him within me ..

e last thing i need now is surprises within me ..

and wad i nid now is him with me ...

seriously ..

and I LOVE YOU REALLY ..

2009-02-17T23:16:00.002+08:00

i nid a talk, i nid a hug ..

i nid someone to listen to me ...

my head's aching ..

my world's spinning ..

my food's being vomited out ...

and im worried ...

but yet ...

once again ...

2009-02-16T23:39:00.003+08:00

sometimes i duno who's true and who's not ..
i dun feel safe ..
i felt as if the whole world is going to lie to me ..
in fac the whole wide world is lying to me ..
thats wad i felt ..
i duno who i can trust ..
who i cant ..
those that i can trust, i duno whether is there going to be a consequence for saying the truth ..
im tired ..
im wearing a mask facing everyone ..
and im tired of it ..
im tired of being little good girl ..
i wanna be bad and lead my own life ..

tired of sch, tired of life, tired of living in this world ..

to add in some colours in my blog,

posting a pic when me and laogong webcam..

we webcam-in and talking on the fone at the same time ..

2009-02-13T22:12:00.002+08:00

wad a good day it is .....

its the good friday isnt it ?

last night had a tiff with laogong ..

this morning kena nag by mummy ..

go to sch headache abt some stupid shocking news ..

then thou it'll be better ..

laogong and me ok lerx ..

then went toa payoh with family ..

ended up being scolded dumb by daddy ..

fuck this day man !

i duno wad im supposed to be thinkin of ..

just a bad day for me ...

sigh ~

im starting to get envious when i see my friends all starting to get married and have their kids ..

i want a family of my own ..

but im far too young now ..

i can only dream then ........

2009-02-11T20:28:00.005+08:00

has been playing games ever since ive joined facebook ..

nowadays only have time for assignments ..

and the next assignment on hand would be the maths CA2 ..

to be passed up on this coming saturday ..

which is the damn valentines day ..

quite upset abt it ..

cant celebrate again ..

and its our 4th time celebrating it ..

i realised he's abit weird recently ..

and it makes me feel so scared ..

i felt unwanted like, once again ?

i dont feel safe ..

i wanna feel protected again .. but yet .....

where did our lovely memories go ?

where did your gentleness go ?

where did your treating me like a princess mood go ?

i felt so not being cherished ..

i felt as if i was bothering you ..

i felt im to be kicked into outerspace ..

and not hang ard you bothering you and your life ..

i dont know wad else to do now ..

im stucked ..

terribly stucked ..

can you pls tell me im wrong abt my instincts ?

sigh ~

adding some pics to add in colours ..

showing pics of my pet society game in facebook ..

my pet, lovelove's house ..

nice leh !

LOL ..

her living room ..

her bedroom..

she laughed when she saw the diamond rings laogong bought for her ..

her play room ..

her bathroom ..

her leisure room .. (w/ pool table)

and lastly,

her diningroom ..

i seriously dont know wad is wrong alrdy ..

i miss him, the past few days him ..

even if im being unreasonable, i still want the past few days him ..

he treats me well those few days ..

and then he's gone ..

he said he's studying, he said its his exam period ..

he was fierce to me just now ..

not even friendly when i said he seemed weird ..

and i cried again ..

ive been crying my nights away these days ..

ive been crying to slp ..

ive been stressed up until i dont know wads happening to my body ..

ive been losing slp, giddy-ness and feeling nausea sometimes ..

maybe ive not been able to slp well ever since tt incident ..

i didnt wanna cry myself to slp anymore ..

i need a rest ..

mayb i was too sensitive ..

but my instincts always tells me when things happens ..

i need to focus on myself more ..

on my studies ..

and my body ..

if im still feeling sick in this manner, im gonna see a doc soon ..

hopefully, theres no changes in me ..

i wished nothing has happened and we're still in lala land ~

2009-02-09T23:34:00.002+08:00

i dont know wad is wrong now ..

no replies ..

im worried ..

and who knows ?

vomited a second time after dinner ..

dont know waad is happening to me ..

dont know wad is wrong ..

giddy-ness is back and i dont know where it came from ..

but pls bring it back ...

2009-02-09T20:00:00.003+08:00

im exhausted, im tired ..

im nt feeling right nor im feeling well ..

i didnt know wad happened and i just felt restless ..

nothing's wrong with me but i still dont know wad happened ..

i just feel like slacking at home and not attending school ..

i feel like just staying home and sleep my whole day away ..

im tired of thinking abt so many things before i go to bed each night ..

its terribly exhausting ..

my dark eye circles are visible, my eye bags and popping out ..

i look like a zombie from the ancient times now ..

and its really terrible ..

someone pls help me, please ?