simple. dark.

ok ..
shld i say fuck the drama series absolute boyfriend ?
i cried my last episode off ..
e robot dies ..
and i cried like hell ..
OMG ..
its not e first tym im cryin for a show ..
but this is one touching story ..
and i've jus finished it only ..
now my eyes hurt like duno wad ..
due to e crying ..

laogong ..

after seein the show den i feel abt this ..

love is so vulnerable ..

we cant control it at all ..

can we love each other lyk deres no tml ?

i wan to treat u better ..

while i hope u also ..

because we wouldnt noe wad will happen to us e next minute..

i dun wan us to have any regrets ..

就算不能拥有

至少曾经拥有

this is wad i tink now bahx ..

i wanna cherish u more ..

i wanna hug u everyday ..

i wanna kiss on ur lips every minute ..

and i wan u by my side every second ..

i love the feeling when our tongues lock together ..

i love it when u hug me tightly ..

i love the feeling when u dote on me this much ..

i jus wanna be by ur side ..

and i dun wan any parting ..

because it hurts ..

♥ say me weak;
i aint strong

FUCK ..
today's lesson was on science and tat means ..
slpin tym ..
topic on molecules ..
water molecules summore ..
WTF ??
im bored ..
w/ nobody entertainin me ..
until laogong came ..
to my class look for me ..
we were exhausted and so slpin in e bus on e way home ..
woke up and went over his hse ..
so now im at HIS hse ..
he slpin ..
while im doin nth ..
sian ..
WAKE UP !!
i nid entertainment ..

* why do guys nid sex while gals nid onli love ?
is tt why when guys wan sex ..
dey'll say lets make love ??
anyway ..
it doesnt happen on me ..
so .
i dun mind abt it ..

♥ say me weak;
i aint strong

i was fucking bored today ..
lesson was about tax ..
bored ..
out of 23 slides ..
i onli gt 1 slide ..
no choice ..
had to ask weiyang for slide ..
sian ..
no choice ?
hais ..
i miss laogong badly ..
he haven reply me yet ..
he's focusin on his studies ..
hais ..
im very tired today also ..
dosing off in class lerx ..

i wanna dream about the tym when im stayin with laogong ..

i wanna stay with him forever ..

i dun wanna be left alone ..

it feels bad and sad and lonely ..

laogong~

i love you ..

and*

i hate horny and desperate bastards ..

and now ..

im wandering into lala land~~

slpy ~

♥ say me weak;
i aint strong

ok ..
so now its after the IG la ..
at first it was borin ..
me and ame jus sat there doin nth at all ..
e person started askin us to back comb our hair and its lyk gross to use e hair spray much, so we sat dere and look at jovian bein tried back combed by our new fren-'nelson' .. lol ..
they are e few guys studyin jus upstairs of our block,yet we duno each other laa ..
u dun expect us to noe all e classes huh ?
nvm ..
ended up we are jus lookin at nelson makin's jovian's hair luhh ..
but me and ame gt bored and since dere's this style quite nice ..
so i made it for her ..
i will upload e pic soon ..
i good hair stylist ok ?
haha ..
jkjk ..
its just simple things, back-combin ..
haha ..
but she look nice wit it laa ..
well ..
after a tym, its tym to part ..
e few guys were enthu to take pictures ..
so ai ping and jovian took with them ..
lol ..
dey were funny huh ..

said anythin jus say their name can liao ..
i tink say their name worst ..
no use at all ..
haha ..
'547' ???
OMG ..
lol ..
e gals are tinkin of mitin dem tml ..
by goin up to their classes ..
haha ..
up to dem ..

before i leave e classroom ..
dee,shaq and amin all say dey wan french toast tml ..
stress ..
hope i can make it nice den ..
haha ..
and ...
my fuckin ear is still bleedin ..
fuck ..

laogong ..

i realised i love you until i cant increase the love anymore ..

but jus tat ..

sometimes...

pls do control ur temper ..

i cant forever tolerate it ..

but its sweet when u are ..

kissin me ..

and huggin me ..

tightly lyk im urs for life ..

i love e feelin of it ..

ok ?

i love you ..

but i dun love ur temper ..

its truth ..

so no denial ..

hope u'll be able to quit smokin soon ..

i dun lyk tat smell ..

haha ..

*ilu

**imu

~ laopo

♥ say me weak;
i aint strong

this is e bear im prepared to gif to amelia as birthday present ..

nice huh ?

today was a bored day ..

studied and finished up e UT for culture today ..

hais ..

my ear pain ..

e bone dere de piercin bled ..

and it hurts ..

till today e bleed still continued ..

went out ta bao LJS for classmates and now, im tinkin of wad to say for my presentation later ..

hais ..

hmmm ..

now focusin on my ear ..

ouch !!

but im sad tat im unable to mit laogong today ..

goin for my hairstyling workshop later ..

till 9pm ..

and im bloody slpy now ..

yawn ..

slp time ..

and ..

i love you laogong ..

especially on how u hugged me ytd at my hse when i said i wanted ur hug ..

and ur sweet kisses ..

although it smells of ur cigarette ..

but i dont mind ..

i've gotten used to it ..

but tat does not mean i lyk it ..

i hope u'll fulfil ur promise ..

and im waitin for it ..

i wan ur hugs and kisses everyday ..

lyk e tym when i was stayin at ur hse ..

it makes me feel doted and loved ..

and i liked tat feelin ..

sweet love **

♥ say me weak;
i aint strong

ok ..
so today was a nice day laa ..
haha ..
ytd after school i went down and look for laogong ..
den fuckin bad thing is ..
i was lazy to take mrt back home ..
so we took e cab all e way back to my hse ..
total of $38.25 !!
fuck ..
and this is how i spent my whole weeks allowance ..
tml havin to go for workshop ..
i duno how to survive alrdy ..
mayb i shld brin my own bread to sch ??
nvm abi it ..
tml den decide ..
hmmm ..
continue is after we reach my hse dere ..
we found a block nearby aand went to e top floor and sat at e staircase ..
we talk and all awhile and he was tired ..
thus leading to bad mood ..
and me ..?
i told him abt how he've hurt me abt tat day ..
thru his language and tone of it ..
and he went quiet after tat ..
he was goin to view a bike at 12am ytd and so i told him to rest at home and i will call him at 11.45pm ..
he was ok wit it ..
waited till 10+ and not yet done with my rj ,
he smsed me sayin he woke up and he wasnt angry abt anythin ..
tat made me feel happy and cheered up ..

jerral and jh was on msn wit me ytd ..

Jerral [Trek Earth] said:

haha

♥♥ IM JASLINE AND I ♥ JARRELL && WE'VE BEEN TGT FOR 2yrs * 2 months * 23 days ** 26 months said:

???

Jerral [Trek Earth] said:

haha

Jerral [Trek Earth ] said:

bored

♥♥ IM JASLINE AND I ♥ JARRELL && WE'VE BEEN TGT FOR 2yrs * 2 months * 23 days ** 26 months said:

sian .. bored .. wanna bash u .. can??

Jerral [Trek Earth] said:

what i do?

hmmm ..

after tat when i saw jh's display nick ..

more funny ..

♥♥ IM JASLINE AND I ♥ JARRELL && WE'VE BEEN TGT FOR 2yrs * 2 months * 23 days ** 26 months said:

gt gal's number ahh ? lol

Jerral [ Trek Earth ] said:

that one is jh want the no. lor

Jerral [ Trek Earth ] said:

i help him take nia

but yet jh said is jerral wan it de ..

lol ..

funny ppl ??

nvm ..

not carin abt dem ..

today was a fine day ..

haha ..

planned to send laogong go sch den i go sch ..

but ytd alrdy psycho him sayin i dun wan go sch lerx ..

lol ..

he kena influenced by me laa ..

end up he also dun wan go sch ..

we took e train down to jurong east ..

ate breakfast and took e train back to tampines ..

den went up his hse and slept ..

while i woke up now ..

bein unable to wake him ..

so im bloggin abt wad happened and watchin video ..

its lucky tat i nv go sch today rite ?

haha ..

becuz e faci reali ..

OMG ..

nvm ..

im hungry now and im goona wake laogong up and brin me for lunch ..

growlin *

♥ say me weak;
i aint strong

hais ..
i miss laogong ..
alot ..
s few days nv mit liao lerx ..
but ask him wanna mit me not ..
den he lyk hesitatin ..
or mayb he wasnt ..
mayb he's jus busy ..
hope tat makes me more happier ..
i jus wanna see him ..
but he jus tel me duno wanna mit me or not ..
wad shld i do ??
hais ~

♥ say me weak;
i aint strong

uploading pictures for today ..
firstly ..
pictures of my stay with laogong ..

tink we're at tiong bahru mrt station ..

auntie anne's when we're at takashimaya

when we're at esplanade dere ..

will u love and hug me lyk u always do forever ?

and this is wad we call love ..

lastly, postin amelia's ugly picture ..

she looks lyk a drug addict ..

when we're in e makeup session ..

♥ say me weak;
i aint strong

hmmm ..
apologies to laogong ..
misunderstood ..
somehow ..
but ..
however ..
love will still be between us rite ?
hope so ..
all these days ..
we've not been mitin up ..
e feelin is kinda weird ..
lyk we're separated ..
reali ..
it jus makes me feel so uncomfortable ..
and makes me wonder ..
wad would life be ..
if dere wont be u by my side ..
wondered and thought ..
but somehow ..
all these thoughts are so stupid ..
because we have went thru so much till today ..
and soon its our 2 yrs 3 months anniversary ..
i love him so dearly ..
but just tat sometimes certain things he do makes me feel tat im so unwanted ..
as in ..
im not e first priority of his life ..
i can do anythin to satisfy him ..
as in make him happy ..
but sometimes he can do things without thinkin of my feelings ..
and hurtin me ..
lyk e past ..
however ..
im used to toleratin ..
until e day i dun wanna tolerate anymore ..
is e day i'll burst out ..
quarrels and all ..
might be unavoidable ..but i wun let it happen ..
becuz he is my love ..
i'll try my best not to burst out of course ..
esp when my mood and his mood are both bad ..
die is wad i'll say ..
but ..
since im workin so hard to kip tiz relationship together lerx ..
i wun let it end ..
i wouldnt ..
and hope he's tryin to kip it together too ..

cuz i truly love you ..

林杰乐

你是我一直期待的人

你给我的爱

也是我一直期待的爱

欣

♥ say me weak;
i aint strong

tired ..

i reali am ..

tired of my life ..

tired of everythin that happens to me ..
tired of bein 'invisible' ..
wad am i ?
i totally dun haf any idea abt it ..
who am i??
i dont know ..
wad am i supposed to do?
shld anyone be teachin me tiz?
i no longer haf e yearn to know all e answers..
im tired and exhausted ..
i felt lyk im breakin down ..
i felt as if im losin myself ..
to who ?
i dont know ..
but i tink im losin myself TO myself ..
i concede defeat ..
wad am i gonna do ?
i dun care anymore ..
to wad ever tat happens from now on ..
i love him ..
but yet ........
tel me wad im supposed to do ?
be mad and angry at him ..?
would i only show tat im unreasonable ..
shld i ignore all my feelings ?
but i feel so upset abt it ..
im supposed to jus bear wit it mayb ..
until the one day when i burst ..
maybe ..
i wouldnt know ..

wad happens today..
is wad makes me reali dishearted ..
dun haf to say abt laogong anymore ..
bcuz i duno wad is wrong either ..
i jus felt sad ..
when he's out mitin his frens ..
yet i wanna mit him ..
but instead ..
i feel so ..
i duno how to say it ..
but its a bad feeling alright ?
i trust him ..
tat he's not out wit gals ..
but dere will stil be fear ..
and doubts ..
bcuz he doesnt reply to me smses ..
am i too irritatin ?
mayb ?

my shoe spoil today ..
so sms-ed mummy told her to fetch me up today..
went home and kena scoldin..
bcuz dad gave me $10 for dinner fro ME AND MY MAID ..
i spent everythin ..
FUCK HIM*
isit wrong to spend money on food ?
summore i buy somethin for him too ..
i was mad ..
especially when yesterday i was still tinkin of not marrying out in future ..
mayb i was influenced by amelia ..
to see how she loved her parents sooooo much ..
but im a different case ..
wad i yearn for ..
is no longer dere for me ..
and when all these happens ..
when i feel so lost ..
mummy will always be dere fpr me ..
she may nag and scold ..
but i noe it hurts for her to see me cry ..
bcuz im her precious ..
for 15 yrs im her only precious until my sis came ..
but nvm ..
i dun mind sharin ..
but pls ..
dun tie me up lyk im not supposed to fly ..
i wan my freedom back ..
bcuz im already 17 ..
i wanna fly ..
i wanna earn lots of money and gif her good life ..
i wanna fulfil my promise and bring jerene to japan by the age of 25 ..
i wanna be independent ..
i dont wanna rely on others anymore ..
im a grown up ..
and i wanna feel lyk one ..
and i would act lyk one ..
everythin has its limit ..
and for me dere will be too ..
i can bear with alomost everythin ..
even my mother says so ..
so wad am i supposed to say ?
tolerate more ?
i shall hack care everythin ..
right ?
im reali tired .. and exhausted ..
i wanna rest ..
and nv wake up ..

i wanna be loved ..

until e end of time ..

ilu ..

until one day my heart stops beatin for u ..

Labels: im tired of everythin ..

♥ say me weak;
i aint strong

im sorry ..
but i was really exhausted today ..
didnt meant to cha bot, but i could concentrate no more ..

im tired of life recently ..
i wanna be left alone ..
but yet im afraid to be alone ..
wad shld i do ?
i feel so un-wanted ..
i just wan to have a sense of belonging ..
i wan someone to treasure me lyk im e special one ..
i wan someone to love me ..
i wan someone to care for me ..
i wan someone to cherish me ..
but i dun wan someone to take me for granted ..
can??
this is my wish ..
i wanna be important ..
most of all ..
i wan u to love me ..
lyk nobody else do ..

however..
i was sad today ..
cried e way back home ..
mayb he notice ..
but he didnt say much ..
only asked 'wad happened' ..
and 'wad is wrong' ..
and 'why i look so sian' ..
i merely shake my head and take it i answered his question ..
but is wasnt answerin him ..
i dont know whether he notices whether i cried while walkin from his hse to the interchange ..
but maybe he did..
and he wanted me to calm down..
so he didnt talk much ..
we kissed goodbye before i walked into e queue for my bus and he walked to work ..
but yet when i stood in e queue ..
tears rolled ..
it wasnt wad i wan..
to show my emotions in public ..
i wanted to hide ..
but i could take it no more ..
because of wad u say ..
tat sentence hurt me ..
and deeply e wound was inflicted into my heart ..

im just a normal gal..
everyone says ..
but sometimes ..
i tink i grew up over e years ..
i felt strong ..
i felt that i would not cry over small things again ..
but yet ..
i know i would only cry for u ..
because youre e onli guy whom moved my heart ..
and made me feel important ..
but after 2yrs ..
am i no longer important ?
i hope not ..
i trust u ..
but i jus feel lyk closin my eyes and slp for e rest of my life ..

IM TIRED ..

Labels: and slp for e rest of my life, close my eyes

♥ say me weak;
i aint strong

laogong ...
i love you too...
i hate it when we had to be separated and studyin in different schools ...
i ahte it when school reopens and we had no more time together ..
i jus wanna be wit u ..
tat's wad im wishing for ..
hopefully ..
im tellin myself to survive till the end of this term ..
to see u again ..
im tryin real hard ..
omg ..
i wanna die ..
if i reali cant get to mit u everyday ..
i'll try not to make myself sound so desperate ..
but i do miss u alot when ure not by my side ..
i wan u to protect me and love me lyk im ur possession ..
i jus simply lovc u ..
will be postin me and u de pic when im free bahx ..
i would ..
today gt a stupid faci ..
i seriously hate her soo much ..
yawnin and playin her hair while my grp was presentin ..
i wanna complain her ..
fuck !!
we're not nice to bully ..
wahahaha ..

i hope to mit u soon ..
reali ..
becuz i miss u soo ...
i love you ..
muacks ..
and thanks for ur testimonial ..
it makes me happy and glad ..

♥ say me weak;
i aint strong

i miss laogong again lerx ..
lyk although i stayed with him for lyk so many days in 2 weeks..
but its not everyday laa ..
im happy stayin wit him tat few days ..
first tym stay is lyk nid pei him go study ..
den veh e sian ..
but for e second stay ..

WED-> waited for him to wake up, den we went out .
we went down to bugis shop shop and find e tube top tat i wan ..
den we had to go down to clementi to mit up the guy to view his bike but he change the venue last min since we're lyk late laa .. lol ..
so we went down to tiong bahru dere to mit him ..
its supposedly to be a good thing de..
but unless its in the mornin den good, i wanted to go for the PORRIDGE BUFFET !!
but den, stil no chance to eat .. hais ..
we're supposed to mit e guy at 6pm, yet end up we 6+ goin 7 mit e guy, he was late ? shld i say ??
after tat, i wanna go hunt for shorts, so laogong pei wo go back down to bugis again .. we went down to hunt for shorts till 9+ lyk tat u tink, den we go down to pasir ris ..
we go to e pasir ris park, and before that, we went down to E-hub and bought 2 bottles of carlsberg ..
ended up, he drank up almost everythin and i drink tat little onli la ..
lol ..
finished .. and we go back his hse .. and .. woo~ hoo ~ and .. bed time at 3+am ..

THURS-> we woke up late laa .. ard 12 .. its him, i woke up watch my youtube video lerx .. im NOT A PIG !!! ha ha .. end up we went down to tiong bahru, to try to eat porridge buffet, and end up, no more lerx, too late ..
fuck !! no choice, and i was a bit lyk angry wit him la, cuz he stil play com b4 goin out .. hais .. after that we went down to orchard .. the cathay to watch a mive .. ' the happenings ', a stupid show .. haha ..
talkin to the plant can keep us alive .. we watch till ard 7+ den we go down orchard walk walk and go taka buy makan .. we bought the auntie anne's again !!!
after that we went down to city hall, which in fact, he wanted to go to vivo de .. den i wan go esplanade dere see things.. so we took pictures dere once more, after e last tym when we went dere to spend our last few hours before he go hong kong .. we took almost the last train back to tampines and to his house .. and .. bath, slp time ....

* was supposed to wake up at 4am to go watch sunrise, and i couldnt wake up .. wtf ..
IM A PIG .. i admit ..
he stayed up e whole night to pei wo yet i couldnt wake up .. shucks !!
no choice ..

FRI-> end up i mornin wake up den see him slp .. and i felt terribly sorry .. so didnt reali wake him up and when he woke up, we went to buy food and eat ..
2 days is totally so short ...
i hate it .. i want tp stay with him longer .. seriously ..

and now .. i miss him alrdy .. although we jus met up ytd .. he came to pei me in school whole day den he go work ..

i love you laogong .. thanks for everything .. and spending ur money ..
lol

Labels: holidays~~

♥ say me weak;
i aint strong