i reali am ..
tired of my life ..
tired of everythin that happens to me ..
tired of bein 'invisible' ..
wad am i ?
i totally dun haf any idea abt it ..
who am i??
i dont know ..
wad am i supposed to do?
shld anyone be teachin me tiz?
i no longer haf e yearn to know all e answers..
im tired and exhausted ..
i felt lyk im breakin down ..
i felt as if im losin myself ..
to who ?
i dont know ..
but i tink im losin myself TO myself ..
i concede defeat ..
wad am i gonna do ?
i dun care anymore ..
to wad ever tat happens from now on ..
i love him ..
but yet ........
tel me wad im supposed to do ?
be mad and angry at him ..?
would i only show tat im unreasonable ..
shld i ignore all my feelings ?
but i feel so upset abt it ..
im supposed to jus bear wit it mayb ..
until the one day when i burst ..
maybe ..
i wouldnt know ..
wad happens today..
is wad makes me reali dishearted ..
dun haf to say abt laogong anymore ..
bcuz i duno wad is wrong either ..
i jus felt sad ..
when he's out mitin his frens ..
yet i wanna mit him ..
but instead ..
i feel so ..
i duno how to say it ..
but its a bad feeling alright ?
i trust him ..
tat he's not out wit gals ..
but dere will stil be fear ..
and doubts ..
bcuz he doesnt reply to me smses ..
am i too irritatin ?
mayb ?
my shoe spoil today ..
so sms-ed mummy told her to fetch me up today..
went home and kena scoldin..
bcuz dad gave me $10 for dinner fro ME AND MY MAID ..
i spent everythin ..
FUCK HIM*
isit wrong to spend money on food ?
summore i buy somethin for him too ..
i was mad ..
especially when yesterday i was still tinkin of not marrying out in future ..
mayb i was influenced by amelia ..
to see how she loved her parents sooooo much ..
but im a different case ..
wad i yearn for ..
is no longer dere for me ..
and when all these happens ..
when i feel so lost ..
mummy will always be dere fpr me ..
she may nag and scold ..
but i noe it hurts for her to see me cry ..
bcuz im her precious ..
for 15 yrs im her only precious until my sis came ..
but nvm ..
i dun mind sharin ..
but pls ..
dun tie me up lyk im not supposed to fly ..
i wan my freedom back ..
bcuz im already 17 ..
i wanna fly ..
i wanna earn lots of money and gif her good life ..
i wanna fulfil my promise and bring jerene to japan by the age of 25 ..
i wanna be independent ..
i dont wanna rely on others anymore ..
im a grown up ..
and i wanna feel lyk one ..
and i would act lyk one ..
everythin has its limit ..
and for me dere will be too ..
i can bear with alomost everythin ..
even my mother says so ..
so wad am i supposed to say ?
tolerate more ?
i shall hack care everythin ..
right ?
im reali tired .. and exhausted ..
i wanna rest ..
and nv wake up ..
i wanna be loved ..
until e end of time ..
ilu ..
until one day my heart stops beatin for u ..
Labels: im tired of everythin ..
♥ say me weak;
i aint strong
